no soul..

dah tensyen...

sintesiss xjadi...
blurr....


nak pack barang..go home..

~ehe...

ahahaha..yesterday, someone had misreload me for rm30.00..gile kan..hahaha..tapi best..haha

aku rase bodoh berdouble2!

ya allah, how i wish not to further study....

life is so hard and i think i am not able to cope with it..ya allah, the tears is running as if my life has ruin. ya allah.. give me the strength to keep still in this path.

sakitnye jiwa aku ni...i'm totally lost with everything that happen for this exactly two months. i really want to give up right now. i just think that i had made a wrong decision to continue study. am i making harsh decision? ya allah..

~totally happy=heavenly soul~

i am totally happy today because:

1. i've got my first salary
2. i've put an end for all those sort of emotional problems.
3. i've gave out my hand-made cocktail puddings for all my lab-mate.
4. i just love all the people around me!

hehe.. but after all, i am hoping for a better tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and consequences days..

and today, i am synthesizing 2,3,4-trihydroxyacetophenone with 4-hydroxybenzaldehyde by using borontrifluoride etherate as the catalyst. i am hoping to get a good result from this method and lesser unwanted side-product. and my supervisor had taught me the better way to recrystallize the chalcone compared with my own procedure. it's ok..i'm still learning..yeahh, i'm still learning.

...dari novel genetics pearl...

a was touched with these few baits...

"life has to go on. the day came. the days went. every second without fail. man became the hunter of time. they chased time that would never come back. they yearned for the time that had gone by. some even become the slaves of time. and they awaited in anticipation for the days that would come. after all, man was never satisfied for what he has...."

esok keleja lah...

huhu..

bekerja..belajar..bekerja..belajar...

working got much more pressure and distress compared with study (degree level). huhu...

esok dah start kerja. a loads of work have to get done. malasnyer!! what is the best purification techniques for chalcone?????

i'm not the type of giving-up person, but since the last two months worked as the research assistant, i felt a lot of pressure. besides having problems with the synthesizing method, i also didn't have a lots of friend to share the feeling of being lonely! often, i tried to make myself happy by hanging up with some sort of friends and old-hostel-mate or ex-classmate, but still my level of happy emotions were still under warning degree. huhu...my soul is not really happy.

i am very much sure, if my emotions is going up to stabilized, i won't have the eagerness to go home every singles weekend = run away from the work-environment. i really need to undergo psychological treatment so that i can lead a merely happy life even though tons of work were bulging me.

open house+accident!

Yesterday was an absolutely buziestttt day (19th syawal). my family held an open house day for the Hospital Pontian's and Kulai's staffs. variety of foods were served such as laksa johor, keli masak pecal, ayam masak merah, sayur pisang and the dessert was must-and-only-be puding koktail (nyummy2..). hehe..aku dah pancit sangat2 semalam...penat gile!

but..

early that morning, my little brother had an accident. that 13 years old boy was motorcycling (better call it as racing ) and unfortunately he fall into a hole and hurt his head and back. served him right because he did not help my parents to manage the household chores. 14 stitches on the hard headed boy! forgot to take his picture so that i can put the quarter-bald-head-boy pic here. biar die tahu malu..hahaha..

ok la..today, we are going to Kluang for a walimatul urus ceremony.. uncle Rahimin's daughter.

a slow change...

the youngest of this hashim's family had slowly changed to be a better person,a better son, a better brother..alhamdulillah...

i need someone to understand me...

today, nothing to stress out.. my synthesis for the past two months were not deliberately too good. after run for NMR, there're a lot of unwanted side products. so, i need to do some sort of purification work up that is crystallization.

huhu..life's sometimes felt terrible especially when there are many obstacles that we have to go through. often, i am not happy with what i did today.. i felt lonely because this new environment is quite different with the previous university. i did not have a lot of friends to laugh and cry like used to. this is soooooo bad for me. i need someone to share my problems with.. what should i do to be someone that is so friendly to others? here, i did not talk much, being like a stupid-shy girl..this is soo soo not me!!

what should i do...

the youngest in the family...

i had the strange feeling..why my youngest brother hate me sooo much..he was the loveliest boy once at the age 6 years where we shared stories about syurga and neraka..nabi2....

now, he's already a grown up boy at the age 13. the problems is, whenever he is with me, the only thing that we do is only fighting through some silliest think. sometimes, we fought over tiny thing.

last week, my cousin told me that he fought with his school mate age 14. acting like a gangster, he punch that stupid boy too. then, as a big sister, i told my parents about this issue so that they can fix this matter before it became biggest issue involving the teacher and police (might be!). later, after being questioned by dad, he sms me telling me that i'm the worst sister he'd ever had. and said that he would be truly happy if i die. oh, at that moment when i read the sms, i just can't ignored it. i was trembling because i didn't meant to make he hate me more..to hold grunge with me as his sister. i told my mother about the sms that he sent to me, then my mother talk with him to apologized with me. later that night, he came to my room and shook hand wit me as an apologize. but, i knew deep into his heart, he was not actually sincere with this..

he will keep hating me more..

the only thing that i want to do now, is pray that he will change someday...

p/s: a friend of mine advised me to give him holy water (air yassin) to him..